“They should’ve kept paradise outside of Paradise,” says the Bachelor in Paradise recap.
Rose lovers, have a wonderful Labor Day weekend! Bachelor in Paradise has a special episode for us to celebrate the end of summer.
But, before we get into it, I have to pose a question that the never-ending opening credits have prompted: When there isn’t another Chris on the beach, why does Chris C. require the C? Harrison is no longer with us. Is there going to be another Chris? As soon as Serena C. departed, Serena dropped the P. What’s going on?
Let’s get this party started! The focus of this episode is on love triangles (or quadrangles in some cases). Kendall and Joe are up first. Kendall takes Joe away for a private conversation, and he wonders whether she’s all right. She’s not wonderful, not bad, just right (sing it with me, Sondheim fans: “I’m not good, I’m not lovely, I’m just right”). She’s baffled as to why Joe is so emotionally stable when she isn’t.
He breaks everything down for her, saying that he wasn’t feeling well at first. Being at the spot where they fell in love brought up too many memories. Kendall, on the other hand, is happy he remained so they could talk. To be honest, you felt that the only way to speak to Joe was to corner him on the beach when he was in the midst of a new relationship? Okay,
While Kendall seems to be “fine,” Serena is concerned about what this means for her and Joe’s future together. She sobs in the confessional, then claims she has no idea why she is weeping. Serena, come on. Anybody in this position would weep, and we all know why. Even Wells believes there is a high possibility Joe and Kendall will reconcile.
Kendall and Joe share a genuine heart-to-heart, both acknowledging that living without one another has been difficult.
“It’s tough for me not to have you in my life,” Kendall adds. “It wasn’t because we didn’t love one another that we broke up; it was because of practicalities.” But, Kendall, there are instances when the logistics are crucial. They are very necessary to keep things afloat. Has the epidemic taught us nothing about infrastructure and planning?
We’re treated to a flashback of Joe and Kendall’s first kiss on the beach, as well as a montage of kisses. Joe is honest with Serena and explains the issue. “It’s very tough for me to go from us being each other’s everything to being nothing in such a short amount of time,” Kendall adds. Joe then confronts her, telling her she’s omitting important information. Four months after their separation, he returned to Los Angeles to speak. Kendall accuses him of returning to persuade her to go to Chicago.
Joe confesses to being upset that she would never even consider visiting the place where he grew up or seeing his friends and relatives. Kendall, on the other hand, claims she informed him from the beginning of their relationship that she didn’t want to end up in Chicago and that all he wanted was for her to change her mind. “Your entire point was I don’t want to go anyplace for a guy; I should’ve been more than a man,” Joe responds. As much as I want these two to succeed, this seems impossible if neither is prepared to compromise. As I previously said, logistics are sometimes the most important factor.
Kendall, on the other hand, craves closure above all else. Joe is now terribly perplexed, torn between his desire to finish what he began with Serena and his need to keep Kendall.
Kendall tells the other females that whatever happens with Joe, she’ll be staying in Paradise to “find love.”
All of the quotes are hers (or at least her tone of voice). Hmm, I believe the woman protests (or relents) a little too much.
Joe, who is back to remind everyone that he is one of the most wonderful guys to ever participate on this program, approaches Serena and begs to speak with her.
He’s honest with her, telling her about his discussion with Kendall and how it progressed from her returning to Paradise for him to her requiring closure so they could be friends and she could go on. But he tells it like it is, acknowledging that they still have a misunderstanding about why she’s there.
He informs Serena that he came into this experience thinking he was over Kendall, but he doesn’t want to deceive her. He is, though He ponders. Serena is given an out, and he understands if she wants to bounce before things become any worse, but he makes it clear that she is his first concern. He has her trust. In a way. So long as he pledges to always be honest with her, regardless of what happens. I have more faith in Joe than anybody else on this beach to fulfill his word.
This leads to a heart-to-heart between Joe and Noah, during which Noah recognizes he still has love for Abigail and that they should try again. They converse, and she apologizes for not communicating well, which he accepts. They agreed to communicate more effectively in the future. So They can now go back to becoming everyone’s #couplegoals on the beach. Noah mulls over what went wrong previously. Was it because of the surroundings? Is there a lack of communication? Is he being a jerk? We’ll probably never know (but don’t worry, it’s the final one).
All of these serious conversations have made Mari realize she has strong emotions for Kenny and that she just told him she was open to dating other people because she was afraid. Mari embraces Kenny as soon as Tia returns with him and pours her guts. “I still like you, and it’s been difficult for me to watch you with other people in the past several days.” When you ask a man whether he remembered to take out the garbage, he gets that expression on his face.
She expresses remorse for all that has occurred, particularly what she said that put things in motion. Is Kenny a forerunner? Or does he just understand the power of his own body? This was something he foresaw.
He attempts to defuse the tension by emphasizing that he needs to respect Tia’s date and what he’s been through with Demi. But, in the confessional, he confesses that he and Mar have something special going on. He can’t, however, just return to it.
Demi is now enraged. She pulls Kenny aside to inquire about Mari, whom she considers to be arrogant, entitled, and a brat. He claims he had a good time on his date with Tia and that he’ll speak to her again tomorrow. Demi is irritated that he didn’t just return and tell her she’s more fun. Kenny retracts his statement, stating that he may just speak with Tia for a few minutes tomorrow. Yes, Kenny, yes,
Demi isn’t happy about it, but Kenny claims he’s informed everyone, even Tia, about it. Which he has, to be fair. Demi laughs in a sinister manner, as if she’s going to suffocate Kenny (Tia did try to warn you, bro). He’s in a “small dilemma,” she says. That’s a new phrase I’ve never heard before for being about to be killed in your sleep.
Demi makes one more attempt for Kenny’s affections, getting in close and saying in her most seductive voice:
For a fresh rendition of “Lady Marmalade,” gather several platinum female music artists. Demi has just invented a new phrase: “Would you want to sleep with me this evening?” Is Kenny, on the other hand, exercising self-control? (Or is it just self-preservation?) He refuses, saying that he had intended to return home after the date and go to bed. Well, he’s 40, so maybe nude volleyball drained him completely.
And, just to show that he’s not completely ignorant of the situation, he expresses his fear that Demi would slash his neck and wear his head as a mask. That would be the most tense conclusion ever.
It’s the following day, and Thomas is attempting to impress Kendall by claiming that he learned to juggle during his unemployment. Wow, Thomas, you’ve packed on a lot of important life skills that will help you succeed. Is it time for you to learn to ride a unicycle?
Kendall acts as though she’s amazed in order to get it to stop. Jessenia thinks about how fast things have changed, especially the Kendall-Joe-Serena relationship and the Kenny issue. She claims Kenny and Mari are now conversing, but this seems to be more than that.
Natasha and Brendan seem to have finally found their stride. Natasha shares her worry with him about how many of the men here seem to be simply attempting to win dates while waiting for their match to appear on the beach. Brendan claims he could never do such a thing since he is a poor liar and not a manipulative person. This seems like foreshadowing, but Natasha is content with where they are now and sees a genuine future ahead of them.
So, of course, Pieper arrives to jolt her back to reality.
Of course, Pieper claims to be here just for Brendan, and Brendan knows something bad is going to happen.
Pieper has a date card, and she doesn’t need to speak with anybody before asking Brendan out. A girl can’t be blamed for knowing what she wants.
Brendan and Natasha go to talk first, and he returns to his explanation that this was all extremely unexpected and that this was simply a big coincidence. Brendan, I believe you mispronounce the phrase “going precisely according to plan.”
He emphasizes that his prior “hangouts” with Pieper were very informal, but that this is a chance for the two of them to have in-depth, important discussions. Yes, since Bachelor in Paradise is known for its long, profound discussions. I didn’t know Brendan was writing a dissertation on relationships every time he told Natasha he was having fun.
To be honest, I’d prefer a man own up to being a player and be brassy and bold (see: Thomas) than mumble his way through life claiming to be the victim in order to escape ever having to accept responsibility for his choices/the fact that he doesn’t want to commit.
If the positions were reversed, Brendan claims he would never stop Natasha from trying anything new. Yes, because you don’t really care about her, Brendan!
Becca comforts Natasha as Brendan and Pieper depart for their date, embracing her and telling her she loves her. I understand that Bachelor contestants spend a lot of time together outside of the show, but when did these two become best friends?
Natasha wonders how much she has tried to be sympathetic and patient, as well as how much she has pushed to make Brendan feel at ease. No, Natasha, you don’t deserve to be with someone who makes you struggle to make them happy. Treat yourself better, even if Pieper didn’t come up.
Pieper, on the other hand, has already declared their date a special night. Brendan reveals what he’s been up to with Natasha, as well as how popular he’s become with the women. With a spoon, suffocate me. He confesses that he’s convinced that the rest of the group believes he’s been waiting for Pieper. ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding
Pieper, on the other hand, is perplexed and believes Brendan is downplaying whatever they had before Paradise.
Brendan, on the other hand, starts the villain speech that will end all villain speeches. “There were certain things that had to be done, certain routes I had to go to get us to this point,” he adds. So, yes, you were definitely Natasha. He informs Pieper that he’s been doing things all along to make sure he was there when she arrived. Pieper understands; he was engrossed in a game the whole time. But, pardon me, she’s into it.
Iago is Brendan says, “We have to have each other’s backs.” “It needs to be you and me first and foremost on the beach, before anybody else. That’s the only way we’ll be able to get through this and get to where we want to be. We’re going to make the most of our time here and take advantage of everything Paradise has to offer.” Is this a date or a Glengarry Glen Ross production? Brendan, you should always be shut up.
With a kiss, Pieper and Brendan cement their deal to make everyone loathe them jointly. Now all they have to do is hope everything goes as planned. What do you mean, sorry?
It’s the following day, and — surprise! — Brendan and Pieper are still married. Everyone can tell how different he is with her than he is with Natasha, and how their connection isn’t brand new. But how can you tell about a program that promises to go from zero to one hundred in one day?
“They should’ve simply kept Paradise out of Paradise,” Maurissa wisely observes. The remainder of the beach is much more suspect than the McCarthy hearings in Congress.
Natasha chooses to speak to Pieper in order to figure out what’s going on.
Pieper’s account contradicts what Brendan told Natasha, which should come as no surprise. They’ve hung together at least ten times, not just two, since they met two months ago. Right before he departed for Paradise, they were together.
Brendan is working hard to get a place in the next Villainous expansion pack, claiming that Natasha had no other options and that he didn’t withhold her from anybody else.
What I really want right now is for Pieper and Natasha to see Brendan for the jerk he is, for them to become BFFs, and for them to establish a company or something. Unfortunately, this is not the case. Natasha accuses them of staging the entire incident for television, which Pieper sort of denies but yet doesn’t.
Natasha then approaches Brendan and confronts him. He’s back to his wishy-washy justifications about wishing this would develop into something more than a friendship. He believed he and Natasha were buddies, record scratch? He plunges the knife into her, telling her they weren’t intimate or passionate, and she had the same response as me. That’s because you rejected Natasha’s efforts to be exactly that, Brendan.
Brendan makes an attempt to deceive Natasha. “I explicitly said to you that I don’t have romantic emotions for you,” he adds, “but you’re such a wonderful person that I want to offer you this rose and give you the chance to stay here another couple of days and meet others.”
Is it possible to obtain an immediate replay of the whole season? When did you say that, Brendan?
Natasha refuses to believe it, claiming that he never said anything like that. He confesses, “No, I didn’t say that.” Why are you still lying at this point, Brendan? What kind of game are you playing? The last straw comes when he accuses Natasha of selective hearing. Is he here for this TV program, she wants to know? Because that’s exactly how it feels.
She digs a little deeper. Is he going on another date with someone else now? Probably not, since that one date when they concocted a wicked plan and chatted for a while solidified his love for Pieper.
Natasha is really insane. If Brendan had been honest with her, she would have looked into other alternatives. Then he discloses that Pieper had previously paid him a visit in Boston. Long-distance visits to see a man are, indeed, the epitome of “hanging out” with “no labels.”
Brendan attempts to justify his actions by assuring Natasha that he didn’t prevent her from making other relationships (subtext being that no one wanted her). I know everyone slammed Blake a few seasons ago (and rightfully so), but Brendan makes Blake seem like Prince Charming.
On the beach, Pieper and Brendan are now discussing how they are just here for their jobs.
“It’s a mutual arrangement,” Tia says. “We give each other flowers, our Instagram followers will increase, we’ll be paid to be here, and it’ll be a wonderful f—-ing time.”
Pieper and Brendan don’t help their cause by bringing up a story in Us Weekly about them, as well as her rapidly growing Instagram following. She then boasts about how many times her name will be mentioned on the program before even arriving at the beach.
Brendan is irritated that Natasha refuses to go, and the rest of the beach is irritated that Yzma and Kronk refuse to leave since they’re just here for a free vacation and some airtime. Brendan then makes the most shady move of all, attempting to conceal his microphone while assuring Pieper he’s “incriminated himself enough.”
I’d want to argue that this is the power of editing, and that this is a moment that has been pulled out of context. However, I believe it is fair to conclude that Pieper and Brendan are not “here for the right reasons.”
What are your thoughts, rose aficionados? Is it just me, or are Pieper and Brendan the worst celebrity seekers this program has ever seen — or at the very least the worst who have made it this far? For the majority of this episode, what occurred between Becca and Kendall? Are Joe and Serena as dependable as they appear? Let us know what you think in the comments!